Taiping is in Penang

I was having the usual online stop.go conversations with one of my friends on gTalk. I've known him for about a year now. He was telling me that his father knew me and I had been doubtful that it was, in fact, me whom his father had spoken of, as there could have been plenty more Phoebes in his father's circle than just me-Phoebe, you know? *chuckles* (i don't talk like this in real life. but if i did, i would be taking a huge breath, just about now.)

"He knows you Lah. The one in Penang."

I tilted my head in curiosity. Penang? I'm in Penang? I continued staring blankly at the screen. After a full minute...

But of course! I was in INTI College, Penang for about a year. Guess that made sense.

So i typed out my reply:
"True, i suppose i was in penang for a year or so."
Guess that's proof enough that his dad knows me, I thought. Yeah, all's good.

He said: Ha.... That's my impression all along. That you're in penang. (Uh-oh...)
I said: *a little nervous* haha. I'm not you know? *grins* phoebe is really from taiping. (yeah, i always talk like i'm the third party)
He said: Taiping is in Penang. No?
I said: *LOL* oh my! no no.
He said: NEAR THERE?

I said: *really laughing* about an hour (and) 30 minutes away.... *LOL*

The conversation spirals down into more confusion...

He said: my dad may have said Phoebe from Taiping. I don't know anything now. We should start over. Hi I'm Joash**. (**Name has not been changed to protect identity and prevent breach of privacy. LOL.) Nice to meet you.
I said: hahahaha
He said: Joash from KL, 22. ASL please?
I said: pleased to meet you, Joash. I'm Phoebe from Taiping, PERAK. not penang.
He said: Perak
I said: i'm 21
He said: interesting. Perak is up north?
I said: very up north. *LOL* north enough Lah. south of perlis.
He said: what is Perak north of?
I said: *bursts out laughing again*

And so after about ten minutes of debating our true identities and then slowly grasping the true bearing of where Taiping really was, we came up with this conclusion.

He said: but the government of Penang wants you to think you're in Perak.
I said: hahahaha... *stops laughing* you think? *raises eyebrow*
He said: I know so. Cause I AM the government of Penang.
I said: well, i'd always wondered why the landscaping in penang was strangely similar to that of taiping... *gasp* what if taiping doesn't exist? what if taiping (is just a) parallel dimension of penang? do i exist?
He said: your eyes are beginning to be wide open.
I said: do you exist?
He said: have you watched matrix?
I said: *nods head slowly as if in trance*
He said: they stole that idea from me Lah!!
I said: *gapes* NO! the copyright infringing apes!
He said: yea. right on.