Monday, October 29, 2007


It's been a heavy week for me. Chemistry and Physics MidTerms, church responsibilities, a good friend's engagement, a weekend sleepover, a good friend's house-shifting, assignments, and a proposal for an event-managing competition that eventually didn't work out (much to my disappointment).

but in the words of Tabitha Ong, "Nyahh, you don't need them anyway!"


At the engagement of my friend, i bumped into a producer cum studio owner whom i'd previously met sometime ago. We talked music to pass the waiting time - and then he told me he'd heard a recording of me and my buddies. It wasn't a very professional recording; it was something me and my buddies had done for fun, as a tribute to our common passion for music-making. He spoke of the potential he could grasp as he heard the recording and i immediately took the cue. i asked him for his advice in helping me develop my sound.

yeah, i was fishing, blindfolded. But you can never tell what you can dish out.

To my surprise, he agreed. He shared about how his studio will be moving to SS13, and around INTI college subang jaya too (ss15)! And how he'd love to help get me guest musicians to help me make a professional demo, since i was serious in pursuing a career in music. Side-career, at the very least. :)

So that was Saturday.

Today, I was chatting on Windows Live Messenger and saw a new friend of mine online. He had previously messaged me some enquiries, and i hadn't replied him yet. so i decided to reply him via instant messaging. the beauty of technology! *chuckles* Now, this person happens to be a very good, all-rounded musician. Someway down the conversation, he offered to help me make a demo of "Far Away" my latest song. I threw in another song into the bargain, as i knew my song would be in good hands. "My Corner of the Sky" has a wicked riff that i had made up and i'd definitely needed all the help i can get.

Joash was online as well and randomly suggested we record a couple of songs over the upcoming school holidays with the youth of FCC. I was all up for it. The more projects the better, I say!

And just as simply as one can get into a conversation, my music ventures has begun to look far more promising than i'd ever expected in such a short span of time! Truly God knows the desires of one's heart, and just loves to surprise!


I loved my surprise gift, Lord. You are so amazing. Loving you more and more each passing day.

Sunday, October 28, 2007


To the hottest couple in Melawati and Shah Alam,

Judson and Getsy!
~You're Engaged!~

Even as you step into
this beautiful covenant together,
I pray that God continue to bless you
with the desires of your heart.
I pray that you cotinue to both grow in the Lord,
and that your faith be strengthened as you walk this road,
hand in hand.
I pray that you persevere through
whatever circumstance that may come your way -
Know that your Heavenly Father is always with you.
Let him continue to abide in your relationship,
and in your hearts,
just as you would keep
the heart of your better half in yours.

Your love will not be severed,
Even in the world's dictation of time,
The earth's forever.

Your love will not be severed,
Should boughs break, and cradles rock,
Through earth's forever.

Their love will not be severed,
Said the King to his seraphims,
Despite the limits..

...of the earth's forever.

Thisisme and a good friend of mine, Seetha, upon arrival.

Thisisme with fellowTaipinger, Suresh.
But he's been in KL for most of his life.
So i don't think it counts anymore.

Special thanks to photographer and her devices:

Friday, October 26, 2007

Hot Chocolate (or The Kid at Christmas)

I bite into a sugar cracker and gently stir my little mug of thick, hot chocolate. I can hear tiny clinks of my teaspoon's ocassional meet with the ceramic-wall, on the inside.


"Phoebe, don't dream! Hang the angel already!" I heard my elder sibling say. My 5-year-old stubby little fingers stopped playing with the little bell around the pretty angel's neck and began peering between the leaves for a place suitable to display it. That angel, I remembered, was my single, most favorite ornament then. After hanging the angel, I turned back to our little box of glittery decorations to pick another piece to hang on our Christmas tree. Something twinkled at the bottom. I reached for it.


How the little bits of sugar on my crackers twinkle so. It reminds me so much of Christmas ornaments. My mug of hot chocolate reminded me even more of our favorite time of year. I chew my biscuit quietly in the deafeningly silent night. I bring the mug to my lips and take a long...


"Don't take so long with your drink! When it gets cold, it's going to taste horrid!" I heard my mother say. "But I'm waiting for the marshmallow to melt," I heard myself protest, in a voice i'd forgotten and ceased to use for so many years now. How strange I sounded. I saw my mother put her hands on her hips to complete the "Look". Bah, I thought, rolling my eyes. As if that was going to work on me. It was then, that I noticed her hands looked different. They were pale-white and young. Where was the age,... the tan,... the freckles? "Well?" Mother prompted. The tiny heart that pumped in my little chest, began to beat furiously. Why was I so afraid? And as if by reflex, I quickly tipped the heavy cup higher, at a steeper angle. The brimming hot chocolate rushed down my throat, scalding my lips and tongue! My little eyes widened as I placed my cup down in a hurry.


I place my little empty mug on my table. It's still warm from the hot drink that was in it. It gives me the best feeling in the world, hot chocolate. I feel sad somewhat that my mug is now void of the drink. It feels so much like my...


Check. Mind. Check. Soul. Check. Body. Check. Strength. Check. Great! They're all in place, I thought, as I closed the envelope. Yes. That's my Christmas present to you this year, my friend forever. I'm sorry they're second hand. But they're all I have and ever can afford. I sealed the envelope with a kiss. I know you'll know how to use them. Yes, they are weak, tainted and a little broken. But only just a little. I smile meekly, ashamed of my immature attempt at deception. As if I could ever lie to you. But... you'll take them, won't you? You can make them new....,


Left? Why are there so many roads? And where do they all lead to? I was looking out into the world through my little left window. "Phoebe? What are you thinking? Are you alright?" I heard a gentle voice ask me. I turned to the driver's seat on my right, smiled sweetly and answered, "Oh, nothing. Yeah, I'm good. Just looking out the window." The voice laughed and said, "All right, we're at my house now. It has wireless internet connection, so you can use your laptop!" There was a certain kindness to the voice that I couldn't comprehend. "Coo~," I remember responding gratefully, still in my stupid grin. I gathered my things, opened my car door and stepped out.


Yum! More sugar crackers. Gosh, I miss Christmas! I distractedly reach out for the teaspoon laying idle in my empty, used heart.


I think I need to fill it with more hot chocolate.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Deb Talan

I was at Tabitha's place some time back, doing my assignments, and i overheard a song she was playing. The contributing artist was Deb Talan and the song she was playing was, "Forgiven." I fell in love with it immediately! Tabitha gave me a few other mp3s and I downloaded a few too, and so now i have 8 songs in my stash so far. And i already love every one of them! The one on the tippy top of my Deb Talan Chart at the mo, has just GOT to be, "Comfort." So here it is. The lyrics.

When everyone has gone to sleep
And you are wide awake
there's no one left to tell your troubles to
Just an hour ago, you listened to their voices
lilting like a river over underground
and the light from downstairs came up soft like daybreak
dimly as the heartache of a lonely child

If you can't remember a better time
you can have mine, little one
In days to come when your heart feels undone
may you always find an open hand
and take comfort wherever you can

And oh, it's a strange place
And oh, everyone with a different face
but just like you thought
when you stopped here to linger
we're only as separate as your little fingers

So cry, why not? we all do
then turn to one you love
and smile a smile that lights up all the room
Follow your dreams in through every out-door
it seems that's what we're here for

And when you can't remember a better time
you can have mine, little one
In days to come when your heart feels undone
may you always find an open hand
and take comfort, there is comfort

Take comfort wherever you can, you can,
You can.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Press On, Babe!

Printed on card:

"Phoebe Mathius (American Degree Transfer Program):

Press On, Babe!


You have no idea how much i'd almost wanted to burst into tears then.

Earlier today, I had been feeling quite miserable. I had begun warring with my thoughts since before my 8am Chemistry class and it was beginning to take its toll on me. My courage and self-esteem level was dropping drastically at every argument and i was beginning to feel exhausted from being so brave. Still, my mind was relentless and cruelly persisted in coming up with the most hurtful and provoking of questions and thoughts.

I had brought my Bible to school today as always, and i was so glad to run away by myself after class to read. I knew i could always count on God to hear my distress; to comfort and strengthen me - with merely a whisper. And whisper he did.

Psalm 65:7
"You who still the noise of the seas,
The noise of their waves,
And the tumult of the peoples."

All i could do was just sit in awe and wonder of him. He truly knew. Instantly, i felt his significance in me just seep in again. He reminded me, at the snap of his fingers, of the dreams he gave me, the race i was running, the purpose in my life that had yet to be fulfilled. God was really getting me to refocus on him, the bigger picture. And i was so humbled. He whispered more promises through his word and i have scribbled them down on my journal. I came away from my corner, feeling like God himself had given me the biggest hug in history.

But it didn't end there.

It was then that i received a text message informing me that i had to collect something at the Department of Economics. I was bewildered. I mean, what on earth? I wasn't even an accounting or business student! I knew Michelle was, but not me! I headed to Wisma HELP cautiously, wary of a practical joke. But i needn't have worried. I was given this lovely breakfast package and it had a bloomin' rose! Can you believe it? A ROSE! My first this year! (See picture above.)

Reading the card was like getting struck by lightning. "Press On" were the two words I KNEW God was trying to say to me! My skin tingled, my palms were sweaty and my eyes were very close to flooding. Even as i type this, my single rose stalk rests in a bottle on my sister's office desk. It will serve as a reminder to me for years to come. Thank you so much, Michelle Melissa Foo, for being such an inspiration.

s if that wasn't enough. I receive a call from the lovely Tabitha just before lunch. She called and was just being her bubbly self. We talked about things irrelevant and otherwise *chuckles*, as usual. Surely, she couldn't have known how much i'd needed her kind attention and time, right at that moment? It's crazy how God works, but I am not complaining. He has apt timing! *laughs* Thank you for being my ambassador for encouragement, Tabitha Ong.

Thank you, Lord, My Friend Forever, for being here for me. My heart is yours Always.