I cried.

I'd just gotten off from a sob fest.
('twas only for a few seconds, but still.... i never knew i was capable of being such an emotional girl.)

I never knew i would have it in me to just burst into tears, gab-smack in the middle of a song - with no warning too.

well, there was SOME warning. it was this swelling swirl in my chest that grew and grew and ...I never could tell what it was. When it finally peaked, out came niagra falls!

(I laugh sheepishly at myself as i type this. and some of you may even be having a field day with this.)

but what you need to know is that there are several causes to this [phoe]nomenon, of course.

one must first look at the song that i was listening to.

The song had caused me to feel this burdened sense of nostalgia... i remembered listening to it during a certain tough period of waiting and direction in my life. And it's a wonder how far I've come. How God led me through, step by step, phase by phase...word for word.

As i listened, what i experienced for the most part, was the feeling of relief that that time has already past. And that there was nothing to fear. But on the other hand, I've also been feeling burdened for the future. What specifically, i do not know...yet. A spiritual battle, really. But my hero, i know, will be there to save the day! No matter how battered or wounded we are from the battle, I know i will see him riding towards the bloodied field with the strongest army you will ever live to see!

Yes, I see a storm cloud looming up ahead. And i cannot help but feel my heart sinking; remembering the last time i've had to go through this. But the sunlight is still reflecting its intensity on my sword, the battle is still raging. We WILL grow from this. Whatever it is. Whatever that is coming.

My hero, lover and friend has made me ready. I await with bated breath.