In dire need of HELP.

to the two of you who actually read this junk,

It's been a a fortnight of literal darkness for me in terms of direction, lifestyle, settlement and belonging. What's really been keeping me afloat was and always will be, my hero. These past two years, I've just experienced as much as i can dare stretch myself to experience. Nevertheless, I fear if i told you everything, you'd either:

a) scuttle away quietly so as to not hurt my feelings. *laughs*

b) experience major brain hemorrhage and die an untimely death due to encephalitis.

c) phase out and ask for a lolly every ten seconds.

so in order to prevent embarassment or casualties, i've decided to just keep the details from either parties (that's right, even from myself). But let's not sidetrack, my muffins, from the good tidings i bear. I don't have the time to write everything, so i'm plucking this huge excerpt from an email i wrote:

"So this is the story. I went to Help last thursday, (two thursdays ago) and met this guy called william. (no doubt the same one who told me that a transferral of credit hours was not possible) but he doesn't remember me, i think.

anyway, he looked at my transcripts and CGPA and told me that i was a good student and that i shouldn't waste it by enrolling into a 4+0 program. he told me to transfer credit into their ADP program, and said i would only need to go to BSU (bermidji State U, Minnesota) for 1 and a 1/2 years after one year in HELP.

he also interviewed me about my mission and why i wanted to do mass comm and he was (in his words) "most impressed". he called and spoke to my dad to convince him, as the budget, william felt, was affordable. Lynn a representative for BSU, was there to tell me how to get a job on campus and how to save on fees.

so according to william, my dad said that the figure he gave was achievable and so now, i'm back to the twinning program idea. Can you believe it? i'll be going to america next august. *blank stare*

help has been good. attended my first chemistry lab and the lecturer, andrew tennant is awesome...nasty but awesome. aside chemistry, i'm taking physics, and media writing this semester. looking forward to studying again, although still a bit wary. worried that i might end up stuck again. initially, i was a bit unsettled about it all, but i wanna leave this to God this time around.

the excitement for me is .....still growing. i must say i'm very relieved i get to transfer credits instead of starting from scratch all over again. it's really nice to know i'll be able to graduate sooner than i thought.

so yeah.

i'm renting a room at Joash' apartment here in jalan ipoh. and will be attending joash's church for the one year (or less) that i'll be in KL. went for jazz fest last night (two saturdays ago) with tabitha but only for an hour. enjoyed sharizan and the asiana percussion performance very much. tabitha is awesome, and is turning out to be a very good friend to me....."

by the way, this paragraph is a tribute to tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha tabitha. (so there. that sentence called for her name to be mentioned ten times!) *laughs* Tabs has been a super awesome friend to me and we've only just met for a few weeks! She's made countless efforts to get me off my depressed butt, by driving me around in her little car - recommending stuff and cracking the most hilarious of jokes!

"I'm funnier today because of my talk with tabitha yesterday." *laughs hysterically*

"...i can finally say with confidence that i'm really doing so much better. I'll just be pursuing God all the way now. don't intend to change this for the longest of times. i intend to do really well in my studies and maybe even form a temporary one year band project before i leave for the states. it could be fun.

i think that's all prolly info overload to you. so i'll stop for now."

Haha, bear with, people!

With all my love,
Phoebe Lee Matthews

p/s - i made shepherd's pie!!!