Whispered Repentance

I wrote this in 2002.

You came to me in a whisper,
Like a stranger, yet so familiar
My heart pounds louder and louder
Into my head; deeper and deeper
Your voice I seem to know; I've heard it once before
From you I've turned away
Yet you came to me today
In your presence; I'm awe-strickened
My body weakens
I feel myself fall into your embrace
I look up and see your face
It shone in deeper ambience
How could I have endured your absence?
My eyes cloud into a torrential downpour
I feel emptied right down to my core
Faceless and impure; I didn't know who I was anymore
Reality sweeps me over
All I wanted was to be like you
So here in your cover
My new skin breaks through
My old self dies as you take me into the skies....
I remember you coming to me in a whisper
Ah, yes, but yesterday seems distant; today I'm different
I'm becoming You.

When tired, sleep; When tired, write

I'm a little exhausted today
My world's in a daze
This ache --
Oh, this despicable ache!
It gnaws at my pumping heart
in morning's melancholy blaze

I'm a little exhausted, today
My state is inexplicable
Driven on with impossible dreams
Chastized by consequences of whim
Constantly, constantly
remembering constantly
tortured by sorrow, disdain bred
still I strive to keep my sanity sacred

My head it hurts
I have no words
It always leaves me
breathing hard
i feel my lungs
being teased by shards
of glass - as
it strains
to sustain
my limp, beating heart.

18th March 2005
Revised: August 2007

Haiku

Sculpted on: 3rd of March, 2005
1st Revision: 23rd November, 2005
2nd Revision: August 2007

i'm trapped in you
it's getting harder to turn-
getting harder to move my feet.

i wait for you
my heart would burn
impatient; anticipating our meet.

So awed by your story
till everything around me
....stands still -

i tend to forget
every wound, pride and glory
wolves may come; i smile still.

i'm breathing you in
drinking you so deep
i resist you but cannot win.

you - make it impossible to sleep!
make trees sway in absent wind
make blood run cold under the skin.

i just sit here
'tis just too hard to move my feet
help me find you here

I want to be complete.

My Dues

Steve Lam tagged me some time ago, but i hadn't the time, ideas or facilities to pay my dues. But the day has come. I'm not going to be tagging anyone else for this one, though. Excuse: I'd already done this one before and find it utterly boring. Surely the human mind is far more capable of coming up with better tags than these.

Generating list...

List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
Things that never were:

1. I was tempted to join "One in A Million". I argued the pros and cons with myself for three days and three nights. The pressure was so intense that i got sick in front of the TV when the interview dates popped up. And then, i joined.

2. I am a completely sane and rational human being.

3. I read Philip Stretchman's trilogy of His Bright Materials: The Silver Compass (soon to be made a motion picture), The Loud Knife and The Turquoise Spyglass.

4. I am Queen Phoebe and reign over you peasants, with an iron fist! I expect complete obedience and a tithe of no less than 70% from the profit earned selling crops.

5. I despise playing TABOO with the greatest intensity. With all mine heart, with all mine soul and with all mine mind. Any game that convinces you that your sole purpose in life is to read the dictionary, Merriam-Webster's preferably, is heretical! Taboo should literally be tabooed! So there.

6. I am dead to the world when asleep. Drop an anvil on me and I'll prove to you I won't get up. Try it.

7. I am bound to a life of celibacy. I will never marry. I will live to be a 78 year old spinster with 36 cats, a love-ringed parakeet, and two male terappins. I would own a dog, a St. Bernard, along the course of my life but it will die a tragic death and i will swear never to own another dog after Fuzzy (the name of the St. Bernard i will own in the distant future. Fuzzy is pronounced "Fur-jhee").

8. I fully comprehend God.

Going places.

Finally.

I'll be off again to Genting and to Kuala Lumpur after.

Awana beckons. Youth Pastor's School will be in session. (6th - 9th August, '07)

Then, i'll be in KL for a good few days, babysitting my little sister, mamaking with old friends, meeting some fellow PKs in a (hopefully) large scale gathering!, attending a cutie's birthday party, and..... visitting HELP university!

(can't hang in Subang Jaya, this time around, guys! Schedule's PACKED! next time, promise!)

Right after i am to attend the POWER conference held at GTPJ. (16th-18th August, '07)

So, tata my darlings! See y'all soon!

More of it.

Today, I......























....... so i lead a boring life. Sue me.

(Nothing new. Accounts, clerical documents, organization emails, notices, updating websites. Same old same old. How've you been?)