On days when nothing is right.

My present state of consciousness is a little fox being chased down by a pack of violent memory-hounds, fiercely barking up the time-tree from which I've sought my interim refuge. They are loud. Overwhelmed by the chaos in my head, I fall off and into an ocean of tears below. A deep blue that spews waves, haunting with thunderous voices so loud you don't know it's there. They are eventually ceased, crashing on the shore of this reality I have become grossly accustomed to. Must there be so much of you, Ignorance? Is there nothing more beautiful than you, that I should choose you above another?


How real is my mortality. How real is eternity. How real is my Lord.

Hello Favorite

A tribute to the strongest family of faith I know. The Ludwinskis. Love you guys!

In honor and loving memory of my dearest and closest friend and brother, Erik Ludwinski, who wholly glorified his God with his body, in his faith, and through his character. He had battled Neuroblastoma three times in his life. With Jesus by his side, he made his final triumph and returned home to be with the Lord, February 9, 2010.

"This evening (Feb 9th) at 9:35 pm Erik went to be with the Lord. And we are so happy to know now that he is not in any pain, and he is walking, and breathing the sweet air of heaven. ~Lesa”

Erik Paul Ludwinski

February 9, 2010 - ∞

This video is his story in his own art, music, photographs and words.

For Erik's remarkable full story: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/erikludwinski

History of the Nickname "Favorite":

My facebook is overcrowded and there were more than one Erik/Eric to scroll through in my friend list. Erik loved to prank me whenever i left my laptop by him and my facebook account was open. He would always change my profile status to the most ridiculous of things. (He has also done this to many of his other close friends too. i.e. Tab Sze). So when he found out that he wasn't the only Erik on my list, he playfully pouted and asked, "Heeyyy, exactly how many Eriks do you know?" To which i replied, "Now, now. Stop sulking. You are definitely my favoritest of Eriks." Started calling him that, and soon after shortened it to "Favorite".

Miss you, favorite.

- Phoebe

Marrow.Org

Hey, this is Phoebe. Share your spit and consider becoming a marrow donor, yes?

What He did Today.

He renewed my hope.

That he is all-knowing and shows himself strong.

That circumstances are reversible.

That we are not defeated.

That Phanuel can be free.

Thank you, God.


"AUTISM YESTERDAY" Autism is Reversible from JB Handley.

Today.

 I've started writing new songs again. Here's a basic idea of my new composition.


It is.


and it is amazing
and it is impatient
and it is swelling
in its berated excitement
in my chest, no rest, no rest
and then its here
but you never wanted it to come

and you keep wondering where time goes so suddenly
as quickly as it is now, it soon was, then that was then.
Did that just really happen?

More to come.