Wow.

We've been on an evangelism streak as of late. We studied dichotomies, and reinvented and reimagined the way we saw evangelism.

Yesterday, our friend Nick, found Jesus.

Backgrounding: I am with the worship team. Kristen is excited about Nick's decision, runs up to me and tells me about it. I get stoked too.

I go up to him and gave him a hug. I'm so happy for you, I say. Happy (spiritual) birthday.

I was, undoubtedly excited.

You know, he says to me, you helped me make that finally decision to follow Jesus.

And i just stand there. gaping.

He continues. Just standing during worship, watching the team, watching you worship, with all your hearts and just smiling and taking it all in, while playing your instruments..., - he said almost distractedly - made me want it too.

Tears well in my eyes.

Oh My God. Oh My God. Oh My God. Not to us. But to your name. be the glory.

Can you hear it? The angels rejoicing?

Passion Is Coming to Town!

Guys, PASSION is happening gabsmack in KL! If you haven't already registered for passes online, DO IT NOW! It's going FAST!

It's going to be an amazing event schooled for the collegiate generation - facilitated by the likes of Louie Giglio (!!!), David Crowder (!!!!), Charlie Hall, Chris Tomlin, etc. - welcoming us to Jesus; in the most amazing of perspectives - periscopes that finally gives us some semblance of coherence so as to resolve the confusion that is us. I guarantee God will blow us all away! And I'm excited!

ARE YOU GOING?

I am. It's been an event I've been waiting for since I was a wee eleven year old lass. Just about the time i discovered my other love...

SWITCHFOOT.

Feeling a little deluged in nostalgia at the moment. Musn't let myself go too deep.

*chuckles* I just might kill us all.

Press On, Babe!

Printed on card:

"Phoebe Mathius (American Degree Transfer Program):

Press On, Babe!

Michelle"

You have no idea how much i'd almost wanted to burst into tears then.

Earlier today, I had been feeling quite miserable. I had begun warring with my thoughts since before my 8am Chemistry class and it was beginning to take its toll on me. My courage and self-esteem level was dropping drastically at every argument and i was beginning to feel exhausted from being so brave. Still, my mind was relentless and cruelly persisted in coming up with the most hurtful and provoking of questions and thoughts.

I had brought my Bible to school today as always, and i was so glad to run away by myself after class to read. I knew i could always count on God to hear my distress; to comfort and strengthen me - with merely a whisper. And whisper he did.

Psalm 65:7

"You who still the noise of the seas,

The noise of their waves,

And the tumult of the peoples."

All i could do was just sit in awe and wonder of him. He truly knew. Instantly, i felt his significance in me just seep in again. He reminded me, at the snap of his fingers, of the dreams he gave me, the race i was running, the purpose in my life that had yet to be fulfilled. God was really getting me to refocus on him, the bigger picture. And i was so humbled. He whispered more promises through his word and i have scribbled them down on my journal. I came away from my corner, feeling like God himself had given me the biggest hug in history.

But it didn't end there.

It was then that i received a text message informing me that i had to collect something at the Department of Economics. I was bewildered. I mean, what on earth? I wasn't even an accounting or business student! I knew Michelle was, but not me! I headed to Wisma HELP cautiously, wary of a practical joke. But i needn't have worried. I was given this lovely breakfast package and it had a bloomin' rose! Can you believe it? A ROSE! My first this year! (See picture above.)

Reading the card was like getting struck by lightning. "Press On" were the two words I KNEW God was trying to say to me! My skin tingled, my palms were sweaty and my eyes were very close to flooding. Even as i type this, my single rose stalk rests in a bottle on my sister's office desk. It will serve as a reminder to me for years to come. Thank you so much, Michelle Melissa Foo, for being such an inspiration.

As if that wasn't enough. I receive a call from the lovely Tabitha just before lunch. She called and was just being her bubbly self. We talked about things irrelevant and otherwise *chuckles*, as usual. Surely, she couldn't have known how much i'd needed her kind attention and time, right at that moment? It's crazy how God works, but I am not complaining. He has apt timing! *laughs* Thank you for being my ambassador for encouragement, Tabitha Ong.

Thank you, Lord, My Friend Forever, for being here for me. My heart is yours Always.

Jonahs.

was reading Jonah. amazing how it's so easy for me to judge him so quickly before, when i was younger. reading it again, i've realized how much of a human jonah was. he was a prophet and that never stopped him from being a guy. The whole running away to Tarshish thing was so typical. :) but then all of a sudden, his life became my life. i almost knew how he felt back then and why he didn't want the Ninevites to be saved. these were people who had ravished their land, stolen, broken their investments and livelihood. he felt betrayed, that justice was not going to be served! Then God tried to remind him that the Ninevites were still His creation, that they were still his beloved - just how Jonah and his people were.

and that's why jonah is one of the truest examples of why God's love is just beyond our comprehension!

note that his obedience never truly marked his understanding of why God was giving Nineveh a second chance. This is exactly what I went through/am going through. I never truly understood why i had to do things i were made to do, but i still did it anyway - in ignorance of the bigger picture. (i can see why it is frustrating for many who go through the same thing.)

God gave Jonah a near-death (big fish) experience and still he never got it! GAH! did he need a lightning bolt to fry his innards to make him see the way God sees or something? we will never know! nevertheless, this has just awakened me spiritually. it's truly scary. i don't wanna be walking around still zombified in my distorted beliefs and history - even after my "near-death" experience!

God saved the Ninevites from destruction in Jonah's story. if i keep my story parallel to Jonah's, then God must've saved somebody from destruction in my story! and i might only know who/what/where/why/how in years to come. (that, or i might never know at all!) Nonetheless, these mysteries of God compels me to believe that He's just all the more hands-on in my life.

I love you, Lord. Don't ever let me go.

Going places.

Finally.

I'll be off again to Genting and to Kuala Lumpur after.

Awana beckons. Youth Pastor's School will be in session. (6th - 9th August, '07)

Then, i'll be in KL for a good few days, babysitting my little sister, mamaking with old friends, meeting some fellow PKs in a (hopefully) large scale gathering!, attending a cutie's birthday party, and..... visitting HELP university!

(can't hang in Subang Jaya, this time around, guys! Schedule's PACKED! next time, promise!)

Right after i am to attend the POWER conference held at GTPJ. (16th-18th August, '07)

So, tata my darlings! See y'all soon!

Phoebe is back.

It's nice to actually be back to face my happy-lappy again. It's been yet another heavy week for me.

Haha. Okay, okay. I'm sorry i'm vague. I don't really like giving people accounts of the day. It's not particularly my favorite thing to do. I don't feel like i owe the world any sorta report -- but since there are requests, i do them for your sakes.

The Influence conference went great. It was most informative and it was definitely a mild jolt of sobering reality. Not that huge a jolt, but a jolt nonetheless. Money matters, conducting one's self, interviews, poise, communication, preparations, savings, decisions and most importantly PRINCIPLES, achieving balance and being the Daniel that God called us to be.

Aside the conference, I've had the greatest fun when out with my friends. On Thursday, i spent the whole day out hanging with my former college mates. I had gone to INTI itself with Eva and for some reason, somehow "inspired" her to skip a talk that she had rushed there for. *lol*

So we enjoyed together-time for a bit (in addition to the long talk the previous night), and i did my devotion there before Clayton came. We headed for lunch right after that, picking John Gan up on the way. And then, in the evening, we went to Ikea/The Curve to first meetup with my sister, 3 close pk-friends of mine, along with 2 other persons, whom i was to get to know. But when i got there, there were more people than expected!

So there was Lemuel, Melanie, Joash and May (whom i met for the very first time!), Angela, Chris, Tryphena, Clayton, Chen Fei and Lionel (the last time i saw him was at PK retreat!). What a noisy group we were! Angela said something like, "It's only with Lemuel that a meeting in Ikea could turn into a mamak one!" I laughed. We had such great fun catching up with each other! Later, Joshua Ong and Rachel came to join us too (they're both PKs) and that added to the merry fun we were having. So the day's quick gathering wound up being an unoffish PK gathering! Coo.

We adjourned to Laundry, to go watch my former band, OOF (Ocean of Fire) from Penang play for Project Bazooka. All my pk buddies weren't really up for Laundry, so my sister and I made our way over at 9pm leaving them at IKANO. They actually had far more fun without us after that, leading me to believe I'm not the fun person that i think i am. *lol*

However, I was already psyched then! I was going to watch OOF perform! It was exciting to be able to see Kelvyn, CHIAT, Jon BBQ, Scully, and ZHU again after such a long time! After talking much, i resumed my place with Clayton, Chen Fei, Kevin, Wee Kee and Tryphena and we talked some more. The suspense was definitely building.

To my utter joy and amazement, the rest of the PKs joined us then too! I was so pleasantly surprised and swelling much with gratitude. I felt honored that they could come and support my band with me too. I introduced as many people as i could to my band and then settled to wait for the show to start. It was quite a wait. Instead of OOF getting up there first, it was Two Sides of a Story (picture below) and then Poseidon.

The PKs couldn't stay long enough for the show, but i appreciate their attempt anyway. (Thanks, guys!) My band only got the stage at 11:30pm that night. Horrid scheduling.

When they finally got up there though, I was a bit nervous because my band was an instrumental one (and a super good one, at that) and might come off a little different than the usual. Nevertheless, my friends that remained with me were most impressed and i was so happy everyone had a great time. Clayton and Chen Fei even wanted to buy their EP album when it comes out (August's end, I've been told). I was never so proud of my band in my life. Haha. But then again, I'm always bursting with pride for them. You can really see it on my face!

So yeah, OOF blew me and my friends away that night! Enough said.

The next day, I hung out with Chen Fei, Clayton and Eva again. We did the general walkabout at 1U. We wanted to catch a movie together at first but we couldn't due to time constraints. They had their respective cell-groups to attend and i had the first night of Influence to go too anyway. Saturday was all Influence. I met God again and He blew me MILES away. OOF fades immediately in the presence of my Lord.

And him meeting me is the most amazing experience in the world.

I said the conference sobered me and here's why. Academically, I'm still stuck for various reasons - and the speakers of the camp were emphasizing early preparation, savings, direction and decisions. Thoughts bombarded me constantly about my past, present and future, and I was always shifting uncomfortably in my seat. But it's amazing how God is always ever-willing to hear my cries and anxieties. Even I would've grown bored of listening to myself. But he is my only help at this point and he strengthens me with words of rebuke, hope and love. and i always feel the deepest calm after being ministered to.

And then came the abrupt ending of my KL stay. I returned to Taiping on an 11:30am bus on Sunday, arriving 3:10pm. We left for my Butterworth Outreach Church at about 5-ish that evening. I was so tired from all the travelling but became very refreshed when playing the keys for church worship.

Needless to say, i fell asleep before my head reached the pillow that night. All in all, I've had a wonderful week! Thanks for meeting with me, friends. Thanks for meeting with me, my Lord.

So, how was your week?


Picture Sources:
http://moiham.blogdrive.com (Special thanks to Shua for the pictures!)
http://www.hispaniconline.com/magazine/2005/december/Features/sprituality.html

Here it comes, here it comes now!

A Beautiful Collision - David Crowder Band

Awesome Song and Soundtrack of the Day!

Kuala Lumpur...,

Petaling Jaya...,


Segambut, Selayang, Kepong.....,

Here we come!

"Here it comes, a beautiful collision
It's happening now
There seems no end to where you begin and
There I am now
You and I, Collide

Here it comes, Here it comes,
Here it comes now...."

Picture Sources:
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=436816
http://perpettualy15.wordpress.com/
http://www.solarnavigator.net/geography/malaysia.htm

Fire Up!

Click here for more information!

Fire is the ultimate litmus test. When thrown in, we finally recognize what we are truly made of. We can be either one of two options:

a) Hay/Wood/Stubble

b) Gold/Precious Stones

Fire here may represent trials, tribulations and circumstances. Sometimes it's divinely brought upon you, but most of the time you bring it upon yourself. Either way, you learn and grow from the aftermath. (Or...you crash and burn.)

I've found that when i'm stuck in a rut, i usually try to work it out by myself - in my way, my terms, my strength. It's definitely good to be resourceful and strong in times like these, but you just have to know when to throw in the towel and rely on someone better or greater than you. You just can't help it if you're on the losing team. Being human is being weak.

In the words of a preschool animated series' jingle, the "Higglytown Heroes",

"Someone special, who could it be?

This job is too big for you and me,

We need some help,

But never fear-o

It looks like a job

For a Higglytown Hero!"

In most cases, I've just chosen to attempt solving everything on my own. Even when it became too big for me. I chose to endure the pain of it all, instead of just letting go of the helm and letting "a Higglytown Hero" help me out.

We're coming down to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow to attend the Fire Up Conference with Michael Rowan and I was talking to Lemuel earlier today about a particular football game we were g0ing to hold Saturday morning for the guys, whilst the girls played Pictionary. Kuala Lumpur vs Taiping. I told him that it might not be a very balanced football match as the Taiping team, in comparison to theirs, might not be so polished in their game. Then, he responded something similar to this line:

"Okay, we'll play that way first. And if they truly suck, we'll swap players."

That made me think a little. When we're losing in a team game or sport, sometimes the only way for you to win, or balance up the game at the very least, would be to "defect", or rather switch to the winning team.

This is not unlike "Osmosis".

Osmosis happens when there are two solutions with different concentrations, in a same container separated by a semi permeable membrane (a sort of skin that allows molecules to pass through). The less concentrated of the two is referred to as the hypotonic solution and its other extreme, the hypertonic solution. Simply put, in order to achieve equilibrium (balance), molecules from each solution passes through the membrane and balances the whole deal out. The solution then becomes isotonic (similar concentration with solution on the other side of the membrane).

Simple phoebeology. But I sidetrack.

God's side is always the winning side. Defecting to God's team isn't such a bad thing. Sure, it's admitting you're weak. But it's also a point of realization -

that God is so much stronger,

and that we are in great need of him.

At least,

I know I personally need him that much anyway.

I hope my bringing the youth group down this weekend will reignite passion, commitment, wisdom and dedication towards fulfilling their God-purpose. I hope the word will speak to their hearts and cause them to rise up for his glory. i hope many things, actually.

So yeah, I'm really excited. 'Cause it's seriously time to turn the radars to what really matters.

Like God.

Picture Sources:

http://www.youthalivemsia.org

http://www.abc1uk.co.uk/shows/higglytownheroes/index.php

http://www.okc.cc.ok.us/biologylabs/Documents/Cells%20Membranes/Osmosis_Definition.htm

KL Log II

To my dear tray of banana muffins,

I return to you with my last testament of the chain of events i recently experienced in the putrid land of Kay El. After many days of utter boredom and cold, i was at my wit's end trying to phoegure out a way to dissipate the monotony and well, live a little. So i whip out my cellphone and called, Eva the Diva.

"That's great! I was just wanting to go to Times Square and was looking for a shopping buddy! I'll pick you up at KLCC."

I love Eva.

No, really.

And thus my day was saved by that wonderwoman of a pal! She was looking for a pair of stage shoes for herself, but my sister and i ended up buying more than she did.

If you need a shopping buddy, Eva's the one to call!

She gave us great feedback and ultimatums to help with purchase related decisions. And we shopped till we literally dropped. I love all the stuff we bought. And Eva made us put them on immediately too! We must've looked horrible. Haha.

By the 22nd hour of that day, I had:
1. A smashing top
2. A pair of shoes
3. A pair of quarter pants
4. A content stomach

Announcement: As many would know, I was waiting on a college's decision to offer me exemptions for credit transfers, but that didn't work out. They offered me admission alright, but no transfers. My parents weren't too happy with this and so I'm not going to college anymore. I'll be in Taiping, doing what i can in church, and mayhaps I'll get back to college hunting soon. It'll be okay, I'm sure. *grins*

To continue the rest of the story, the remaining part of the week was spent settling my little sister down, teaching her how to take the train and bus and showing her around college. I also took her to KLCC! She loved every bit of it.

Somewhere in the week, I talked to Joash about getting a new phone for myself. My keypads were getting a little too hard for typing, so I thought of trading in my Samsung X330 to buy a secondhand phone. Joash swore by his Nokia 3310, the legendary brick of communication devices. *chuckles* But I'd already decided to purchase a second-hand Sony Ericsson K700. Unfortunate for me, the market value for my cellphone had dropped steeply and it would be a horrendous waste to trade it in for less than a hundred dollars. Later, my best friend helped me decide to just keep my Samsung till it gives up its ghost and then get another phone.

However, my sister needed a phone right away and so i bought the SE K700 for 250 dollars (it was going for 320 dollars). And now it rests safely in her pocket ready for communication. CALL HER! *lol*

Before leaving the land of Kay El, guess what i did - guess what i did - guess what i did?? We took a train and a car ride to Desa Sri Hartamas, KL Jam Asia to watch OCEAN OF FIRE at the BOSS_ADDICTION gig! I'm their true blue fan and of course, it helps that i used to be a part of them once! It was so awesome to have had the opportunity to watch them play LIVE again. The last time i saw them, they'd just won the National Asian Beat Championship held in the Rum Jungle last December!

So I cheered them on between 5 to 7.30pm, and won an inflatable synthetic pillow from BOSS too! Lovely souvenir. (I took a lotta pictures on my sister's cellphone, but forgot to bluetooth them over. One of these days, promise.) Right after, I whisked my sisters and myself away to Pasar Seni and weaved through Petaling Street to get to Pudu to catch the bus back home. I spent a wonderful Sunday serving in Shekinah AG Taiping. Nothing like home la. For sure.

It was our Royal Rangers Council of Achievement Day and my youngest sister, Theophile had received several merit awards and a certificate. Coo. Her patrol also gave a special number.

So that was that. And now, off to Genting Highlands! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! Time to meet the Awesome One and more like-minded hearts! It's going to be COLLOSAL!

Good News

You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, "Here is your God!"
-Isaiah 40:9

It's amazing how much one lost Bible can affect so much of me. I've been trying to survive without my Bible for the past few days, borrowing my sister's pink (don't ask) bible to do quiet time with my Lord. I felt disconnected somewhat, reading someone else's bible, but was immediately comforted when i engrossed myself with his word again.

I could've forgotten that it wasn't mine, actually. Until of course, i stumbled across a favorite verse. A verse I had highlighted in my own bible, in fluorescent orange, with a note or two added next it. It seemed empty and bare in my sister's bible. (She didn't like to color hers.) And strangely, that made me feel uncomfortable and disconnected all over again. It's like having a bad Internet connection and having to establish one over and over again due to its instability. Frustrating.

I miss my Bible. But above all, I miss him. I feel the urge to pray every other minute, now that my bible isn't with me. It's as if I hadn't done something i ought. Or as if there's something else i should do. I'm losing focus. I'm forgetting important things. And I left my blinkin' cellphone in the apartment today! Gah.

Maybe i'll just try reading an online Bible. *leaves blogging window to browse other windows*

*returns excitedly after 15 minutes*

Oh my! OH MY!

I'm so excited! Was just chatting with my sibling and she has just informed me that my Bible has been recovered! It waits for me in Taiping!

Oh my Lord, what good news! I'll be seeing you tonight and i can't wait. And this time, no more distractions.

My New Bible.

What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever

What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other
-delirious

Sometimes I wish I was a tad less blind and a little more receptive.

Mom got me a small new bible (after my gigantic one) and ever since, i've been more than engrossed with it. It's like reading it all for the very first time. Maybe i just like new books. Maybe i've just gotten accustomed to the color, the print of my old Bible - that a fresh look seemed more attractive to me. I don't really know.

But his love letters have always been the same. It's rock solid. And I? I, in comparison, am phoeckle and so very phoeble.

Yes, a new bible is a very poor reason to fall in love with him again, but it helped me remember, refocus and recharge. I may be ashamed of this, but it just demonstrates how truly beautiful he is.

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.

It breaks my heart to think that he had waited for me every night at our local coffee place (.g. Olden Days Kopitiam), ordering a drink for two and my favorite dish (e.g. "Olden Days Sauce Chicken Rice") for us to share... the both of us. But i never would show.

I treasure every moment we spend together now. Like a desperate lover. Like I couldn't breathe without seeing him. Like i couldn't live without spending time with him, like i couldn't sleep without talking to him.

Because I truly couldn't.

He never did change. He still kept on loving me even when i changed. And i did change. Countless times. Comfortably switching loyalties, as if it were a game of monopoly.

Sometimes I wish I was a tad less blind and a little more receptive.

I could never forgive myself for leaving you hanging like that.... I don't even treat my friends the way i did you! How could I have claimed that I loved you? How could I? Yet...

...you forgive me and still love me.

Why didn't I see? Why was i cursed with this blindness?

My new bible had an answer waiting for me. John 9. There was a man who was blind from birth, begging in the streets and Jesus' disciples had asked him whose fault it was that that man was born blind. Jesus' answer?

John 9:3b
"...but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

*chuckles* I sometimes laugh at how down-to-earth his love letters are. I was blind in my naivete, but I had to be. How then could he impress me? I will never be able to comprehend the depth of his love.

He uses my weakness - my blindness, as a chance for me to get to know him. He never took the opportunity to use it against me or derogatorily. He used it for his glory. My lover.

There's also the other extreme. I was blind so that he could show his healing. Where it simply displays his awesome power, his influence (his pectorals? *chuckles*). That he is able to give and also take away. My hero.

John 9:39
Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."

He truly is amazing. And it's breathtaking to be in a relationship with him.

Sometimes I wish I was a tad less blind and a little more receptive.

I'm distraught today. I've lost my new Bible. I can't believe it's gone! All his letters to me, gone! Of all things to steal, of all things to lose. Gah.

I want it back. I need it back.

I'm meeting him tonight.