I'm heading to an Apologetics Conference this weekend.
I'm excited! It's gonna be awesome. And a good break for me. Thanks, Kristen LEE Flathers for inviting me along! And Sarah McKee, it'll be good to catch up with you all that four hours down to the cities! =)
I have a HUGE video project on my hands and things aren't going well. Pray for me. For wisdom.
In other news, I got my social security card/number - which means i can get paid now! hurrah! In the nick of time too! I was seriously BROKE. (NO, don't inform my parents, they know. and NO, I'm doing fine. I have my small reserve. But it'll be great to start saving you know?) Thanks for all the support!
IF you need something to pray about when it comes to me, I'm applying for several partial scholarships. I need to find favor.
Also -- as i indicated in a previous post, I made the Dean's and the President's List. They served a free lunch yesterday, for people who make the list! And i received two certificates! So whoever this Dean person is, and how his list came to be.... thanks, ole boy!
All this -- thanks to my beloved. I love you.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
When Wednesday Met Thursday
Darkness.
...was all I could see when Wednesday met Thursday. My timepiece indicated an incredibly foreign hour of the morning. Couldn't really understand my body's enthusiasm to meet the day. Neither could i comprehend why an ingenius and divine concept, such as sleep, could ever be this elusive. Pure in-
Sanity.
...is what I have in moderate amounts these days. A shame, that. 'Tis sanity that keeps most of us afloat, even in the most deplorable of conditions. And this very same trait, I lack. Retarded, i seem to be, for the better part of the day; and all thanks to the tiny men at war in my already delirious grey matter. Why all the strife, you ask? I'll never really know for sure, but i have some -
Ideas.
...Conformity, for one. To feel safe, to belong and all that balderdash. We've been taught to follow things blindly and we've all wound up stuck in waist-deep sludge. I sullenly watch as my fingers drummed the table in an unsettled fashion. Still uncertain. Did the muck around me ooze out from my very own pores? Or was it just there all along, waiting innocently for some poor cretin to step in it, yell a string of inaudible curses - break into melancholy song ( i.e. Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen) and contemplate suicide simultaneously, whilst painfully submerging into the bottomless, tar-like puddle at a disgraceful rate of one centimeter per minute? Either way, I only have myself to blame for being here. Nevertheless, everything in me, the very essence that survives me, cries out to escape the System, to be my own person, to be contrary; different to the reeking normalcy of today's stale-tuna-sandwich culture. Tiny men at war in my head. Conformity Vs. Individuality. The bugle has sounded. The battle is -
ON.
...The bold word returned my blank gaze. I'd been fumbling around in the dark and a bump or two later, the lights had flickered on, swallowing the darkness that once engulfed my personal space. I remained in the deafening silence, eyes still getting accustomed to the shocking brightness that now illuminated every nook and cranny. My finger, still on the switch, lay motionless; frozen-like; as I stood stupefied at the single-syllabled word: ON. Right below was it's regal antonym, in similar print. OFF. ON.
OFF.
ON.
...How feeble our faith. How feeble our lives. How great the Creator.
OFF.
ON.
OFF.
Darkness.
... was all I could see when Wednesday met Thursday, and when Thursday met Friday, when life met death, when train met tunnel. Just spaces void of -
Light.
... was all I could see as the tunnel approached its end - when life met eternity, when men met God.
-Written in 2006
-By Phoebe Lee Mathius
...was all I could see when Wednesday met Thursday. My timepiece indicated an incredibly foreign hour of the morning. Couldn't really understand my body's enthusiasm to meet the day. Neither could i comprehend why an ingenius and divine concept, such as sleep, could ever be this elusive. Pure in-
Sanity.
...is what I have in moderate amounts these days. A shame, that. 'Tis sanity that keeps most of us afloat, even in the most deplorable of conditions. And this very same trait, I lack. Retarded, i seem to be, for the better part of the day; and all thanks to the tiny men at war in my already delirious grey matter. Why all the strife, you ask? I'll never really know for sure, but i have some -
Ideas.
...Conformity, for one. To feel safe, to belong and all that balderdash. We've been taught to follow things blindly and we've all wound up stuck in waist-deep sludge. I sullenly watch as my fingers drummed the table in an unsettled fashion. Still uncertain. Did the muck around me ooze out from my very own pores? Or was it just there all along, waiting innocently for some poor cretin to step in it, yell a string of inaudible curses - break into melancholy song ( i.e. Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen) and contemplate suicide simultaneously, whilst painfully submerging into the bottomless, tar-like puddle at a disgraceful rate of one centimeter per minute? Either way, I only have myself to blame for being here. Nevertheless, everything in me, the very essence that survives me, cries out to escape the System, to be my own person, to be contrary; different to the reeking normalcy of today's stale-tuna-sandwich culture. Tiny men at war in my head. Conformity Vs. Individuality. The bugle has sounded. The battle is -
ON.
...The bold word returned my blank gaze. I'd been fumbling around in the dark and a bump or two later, the lights had flickered on, swallowing the darkness that once engulfed my personal space. I remained in the deafening silence, eyes still getting accustomed to the shocking brightness that now illuminated every nook and cranny. My finger, still on the switch, lay motionless; frozen-like; as I stood stupefied at the single-syllabled word: ON. Right below was it's regal antonym, in similar print. OFF. ON.
OFF.
ON.
...How feeble our faith. How feeble our lives. How great the Creator.
OFF.
ON.
OFF.
Darkness.
... was all I could see when Wednesday met Thursday, and when Thursday met Friday, when life met death, when train met tunnel. Just spaces void of -
Light.
... was all I could see as the tunnel approached its end - when life met eternity, when men met God.
-Written in 2006
-By Phoebe Lee Mathius
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Yay For Experiments!
The Moon is A Magnet by Jon Foreman
It's a little slow but only to go with the song! Great job, Tim and thanks for doing this with me. Let's hope my actual video assignment goes well. *fingers crossed for tonight*
It's a little slow but only to go with the song! Great job, Tim and thanks for doing this with me. Let's hope my actual video assignment goes well. *fingers crossed for tonight*
Sunday, February 8, 2009
My Pensive Adagio.
A friend asked me if i was doing alright. Truth is, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm happy. But this is something past the trivial school life, assignments and such. It's an inward battle that i will soon need to have ironed out. So, I'll just borrow the answer i sent, and post it here - to serve as a reminder for me, really. More than anything else.
I wrote:
it's something i'm figuring out. it isn't like...school or anything trivial like that, i would think. i remember the last time i felt this way. and it kinda marked an uncomfortable transition period of decisions and waiting. But something great came out of it. I'm here in Bemidji now! so maybe it's just God's way of saying, "okay, enough of this! You can handle more. Time for you to keep growing."
and it makes me shift in my seat a lil just thinking about it. I think change is important and good. (and helps me evade depression from the repetitive routines we tend to get ourselves into.) but at the same time, growing comes with complementary growing pains too.
oh well, let it come, i say. I'll just try to be more receptive and make myself accessible to what God wants to do. whatever that may be.
I wrote:
it's something i'm figuring out. it isn't like...school or anything trivial like that, i would think. i remember the last time i felt this way. and it kinda marked an uncomfortable transition period of decisions and waiting. But something great came out of it. I'm here in Bemidji now! so maybe it's just God's way of saying, "okay, enough of this! You can handle more. Time for you to keep growing."
and it makes me shift in my seat a lil just thinking about it. I think change is important and good. (and helps me evade depression from the repetitive routines we tend to get ourselves into.) but at the same time, growing comes with complementary growing pains too.
oh well, let it come, i say. I'll just try to be more receptive and make myself accessible to what God wants to do. whatever that may be.
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